dysonrules - Commander of Food

dysonrules - Commander of Food
Chocolate is life.

Sunday, May 1, 2011


This will be a photospam post. Because I can. :D

Firstly we will start with our ingredients. You might want to preheat your oven to 375 degrees F. You will need:
1 cup Brown Sugar
3/4 cup oil (I know, right? D:)
1/4 cup molasses
1 egg
2 cups flour
1 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp salt
1/4 tsp ground cloves
1 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp ginger

Also, you might need a bowl.

Toss the brown sugar into the bowl.

Add oil! Yeah, it looks pretty repulsive at the moment.

Add the molasses and the egg.

Add ONE CUP of flour. The recipe tells you to sift and all that crap, but who has time for that? I dump in one cup of flour, then add the salt and baking soda.

Mix that well and then add the rest of the flour. On top of that, throw in all the yummy spices. Cloves, cinnamon, and ginger FTW!

LOOK! FINISHED! LOL, just kidding. Wrong cookies.

Pour some white sugar into a bowl. This is more awesome with large granules, but I never remember to buy that, so regular old sugar will work. Roll some dough into a ball shape and roll it around in the sugar.

Place them on your baking sheet.

Bake at 375 Fahrenheit for 10 to 12 minutes.


Monday, April 11, 2011


Wherein I actually do not cook something with a heavy cream sauce...


1 pound white fish filets (sole, cod, walleye, tilapia, etc)
2 TBSP butter
Juice of 1 lemon
2 cloves garlic, crushed
Lemon pepper seasoning
1/4 cup (or one handful) Parmesan cheese
Fresh or dried parsley

Wash and pat dry the fish, then lay them out flat on a baking sheet. I covered mine in foil and buttered it for easy cleanup.

Melt the butter in a small bowl, then add the lemon juice, crushed garlic, and Parmesan. Spread the mixture over the fish (yes, it will ooze all over). Sprinkle with parsley.

Bake at 350 degrees F for 15 to 20 minutes (or until a knife makes the fish flake so you know it's done). It will take longer for thicker fillets. You can crank on the broiler to give the cheese a bit of bubbly brownness if you like.

Serve with steamed rice and asparagus or broccoli hollandaise.

This can be prepared in less than 30 minutes. Always a good thing!

Tuesday, September 7, 2010



This recipe evolved from an Australian recipe entitled "Paella" and it now bears little resemblance to either the original recipe or actual paella, but we still call it paella in my house. It was my picky daughter's favourite food for many years and she still loves it.

1 tbsp olive (or vegetable) oil
1/2 yellow (or sweet) onion, diced
1 clove garlic
1 pound lean pork loin, diced
1/2 pound kielbasa or smoked sausage, diced
1 28oz can stewed, crushed or diced tomatoes, undrained
1 cup long grain rice, uncooked
1 cup water
1/2 cup cooking sherry
1 cup frozen peas (optional)

In large (lidded) skillet, heat oil and saute the onion until slightly soft, then toss in the pork cubes. Cook until done and then add the sausage and garlic. Saute another minute or two and add the tomatoes, rice, and water. Cover and simmer for 20 minutes, checking occasionally to add more water, if necessary.

When the rice is tender and most of the liquid is gone, add the sherry and peas and stir well. Turn off the heat and let it sit until the peas are heated through, which takes about ten minutes. For pea haters, you can serve them a bowl before adding the veggies. You can thaw them ahead of time, if you like, but I'm lazy and I've never had them fail to defrost in the hot mixture.

Add salt and pepper to taste.

Sunday, September 5, 2010



I make these very frequently, mainly because it's my daughter's favorite food. The most labor-intensive part is slicing the meat. Find someone to do that for you and this chore is easier. :D

1 pound sirloin steak (or whatever sort you like - the tenderer the better, obvs.)
1 tablespoon yellow mustard (the type you put on hot dogs - no, really!)
1 tablespoon packaged taco seasoning
1/4 teaspoon dried oregano

Slice the steak very thin and toss it into a bowl. Add the mustard, taco seasoning, and oregano. Mix well. (I normally use my hands for maximum coatage.)

Let that sit for at least 35 minutes to marinate.
(While that's sitting, I will sometimes fry corn tortillas into taco shells.)

Heat a skillet with 1 tablespoon of cooking oil. Fry the meat about a handful at a time until just brown - don't overcook or it will be tough and chewy. Put the cooked pieces into a serving dish and fry the next bit. (Too keep it hot, you can put the bowl into a "warm" oven, just make sure you use an oven-safe bowl. :D)

When the steak is completely cooked, add a bit more oil to the pan and saute some onion slices.

Serve on warmed corn or flour tortillas, topping with your choice of salsa.

Honestly, you can add whatever you like to these, although I seldom add anything but avocado slices or sometimes a squeeze of lime if I have limes handy. They are just as good with added cheese, lettuce, tomato, and sour cream.

Alternative: If you use fajita seasoning to marinate with and add some green peppers to the onions, you can turn it into fajitas, instead...

Tuesday, August 31, 2010



Okay, this is a tough one for me because I never make it the same way twice. It totally depends on what I have in the cupboard or what I’m in the mood for. But here are a few basics to start with.

1 pound ground beef (or ground whatev you like)
1/2 pound ground Italian sausage
1 or 2 cloves garlic
Mushrooms (optional)
Onions (optional)
Bell Pepper – capsicum (optional)

Now, normally I will brown the meat together until it’s well cooked, drain off the grease, and then add the garlic for a bit. If you like onion and peppers in yours (which I do NOT) add them when the meat is done and cook until they are a bit tender. You can also throw whatever other veggies you like in there, such as diced zucchini. I usually don’t bother with the mushrooms unless I happen to have some.

To make it vegetarian, just use a bit of olive oil and toss in the garlic and a pile of veggies. I would probably use carrots, peppers, zucchini, and fifty billion mushrooms because I like them.

Now, on to the sauce. Here is where it gets fun.

1 can tomato sauce (15 oz)
1 can Italian style diced tomatoes (15 oz)
1 can tomato paste (8 oz)
A whole lotta seasonings like:
(I normally use dried, but if you can get the fresh stuff it’s SO MUCH BETTER.) Um, I just kind of toss it in a teaspoonish glop at a time until I like the taste. Let it cook down a bit before tasting! The flavours take about fifteen minutes to blend.

Buy a jar of Ragu® Chunky Garden Combination sauce
Add a can of Italian Style Diced Tomatoes
Really, I’ve never seen the need to add seasoning to that one. I really like it. I’ve tried forty gobillion different jarred sauces and that one is still my fav. Do not buy Ragu Meat sauce. It is VILE.

Even Lazier:

Buy McCormick’s Spaghetti Sauce packet and add the stuff it says to on the back.
I think it’s a can of sauce and a can of paste. Pretty easy and tastes surprisingly good, especially when you get bored with the methods above and want a change.

AND if you get bored with that, you can always take the meat, toss it into a bowl, add some minced garlic, minced onion (or dried onion flakes – I love those) and bread crumbs and shape them into meatballs before browning them and adding the sauce. If you hate cooking meatballs in the skillet (like me) you can put them into a baking dish and bake them first. Much easier, but then you have another pan to clean up, unless you’re lucky and can use an oven-safe skillet.

ALSO if you really want to switch it up, you can skip the ground meat and brown some chicken breasts in a bit of olive oil. Add whichever tomato sauce method you choose, let it simmer for about 30 minutes, and top each chicken breast with a handful of mozzarella cheese and some Parmesan. Easy and awesome alternative to regular spaghetti.

SERVE ALL OF THE ABOVE OPTIONS OVER COOKED SPAGHETTI NOODLES. Obviously. :D Also, if you can stand to part with it, about a quarter of a glass of red wine is really good tossed into your sauce.



This is probably the easiest recipe of all time. You'll need a crock pot, or if you plan to be home all day, a large pan that you can simmer all day without burning whatever you're cooking. You'll need:

1 pound ground beef
1 can pinto beans*
1 can black beans*
1 large jar of your fav salsa*

Brown the beef, toss it into the crock pot, and DUMP IN the other stuff. Cook on low for eight hours or on high for four.

*Now, here is the fun part. You can use ANY sort of beans you like. Kidney beans, ranch style beans, white beans, chili with beans, whatever you like. AND you can use any sort of salsa. Once I made it with peach/pineapple salsa and it had a really different, sweet flavour. The salsa determines the heat level, so use mild salsa if you don't like it spicy and HOT salsa if you like it to burn your taste buds.

I don't see why this wouldn't work without meat, although I haven't tried it. You could dump all sorts of other things in there, too.

Sunday, August 29, 2010


FOOD IS AWESOME. I cook almost every day and I love to cook, so I'll be posting my best easy/fast recipes here for everyone to enjoy. Most of them contain meat because I am carnivorous. I'll add veggie modifications if I have them. Today's recipe:


4 Pork Chops (I prefer boneless loin chops, but any sort will work)
Salt and Pepper
1 large onion
1 can pineapple slices (I've never tried it with fresh pineapple, but YUM)
1 bell pepper (capsicum)
1 bottle Teriyaki Sauce
Aluminum foil

Preheat your grill, or set your oven to about 400 F. I usually start some white rice about the time I turn on the grill, because it takes 20 minutes and should be done about the same time as the pork chops.

Tear off a large piece of foil, probably 12 inches by 12 inches or so. Feel free to use two pieces to be sure of keeping the juice inside.

Place one chop in the center of the foil. Sprinkle with a bit of salt and pepper according to your preference. I don't use much salt and I adore pepper, so I tend to load it up with pepper.

Slice the onion into circles and place one circle atop the chop. I usually go with about 1/8 inch slices, unless it's a sweet onion and then I make it a bit thicker because I like the flavour. So the same with the bell pepper, adding a slice atop the onion. Take out a pineapple slice (or two!) and toss those atop the chop/onion/pepper stack.

Fold up the sides of the foil a bit to make a bowl because next you'll sprinkle on the teriyaki sauce. I use this amazing miso-flavoured one, but any sort will work. I use about a tablespoon of the teriyaki sauce.

Next, seal up the foil to make a nice pouch around the chop and keep everything from leaking out. Repeat this process until all of your chops are packaged up, then go and put them on a medium hot grill.

Leave them out there for 15 minutes. It should take about the same amount of time in the oven, perhaps five minutes longer to be safe. I've not tried it in the oven, so you might try it for 15 and then cut one open to see if it's fully cooked.

Take them off the grill, slap some white rice onto a dish, and carefully tear open the foil - watch the steam! Pour the juice over the rice and top with the pork chop veggie stack. With rice, this makes a full meal because you've got meat, carbs, veggies, and fruit. It's good with a side salad, too.

This is one of the healthiest recipes I own, plus it's very quick - 30 minutes tops, and is excellent for hot summer days. You can also try different sauces - I plan to try it with a Thai peanut sauce one day. I think chicken breast would be an excellent substitute for the pork, though you might reduce the cooking time by 3 minutes or so. EXPERIMENT! Remember, recipes are only guidelines.


There have been no new updates on Arachnophobia Deathmatch 2010, which is a bit alarming. Normally the horrific wonders have invaded by now and they had such a steady presence in July that I feared August would see record numbers of the bastards. And yet, it is now nearly the end of August and I have seen nary an eight-legged soul.

Either they have seen the error of their ways and will no longer disturb me with their presence... or they are plotting mass invasion.

I will stay alert.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Aracnophobia Deathmatch 2010

Today's round of Deathmatch was VERY EXCITING and I hope never to have to repeat it. *shudders*

While lounging on my bed, which has no headboard, blithely typing on my laptop, I happen to glance over and see an eight-legged horror of medium size crawling toward me on the wall. D:

I immediately leap off the bed and try to locate something appropriate for smashing, discarding a rolled up pair of socks, a small paperback book, anything belonging to me that might get spider residue on it, and finally settle on a fair-sized sturdy box. Seeing that the offending creature is on the wall next to my BED, and not wanting it to drop down between the wall and the bed, I know I only have one shot at it. Which is why, of course, I fuck it up. I smack the horror with the box, freak out a bit, jump stupidly, drop the box, the spider skitters up the wall a bit... and drops down between the wall and the bed.



Naturally, I did what any sane (or slightly deranged) person would do. I completely took apart my bed, removing blankets, sheets, dust ruffle, and both mattresses, propping them up carefully while ensuring the creature wasn't clinging to any of those items. Terrifying experience, let me tell you. Especially while barefoot clad only in a robe.

I see no scuttling creatures and remove half a pound of LEGOS, several cut up paper bits, a few candy wrappers, and a white shirt I've been looking for from the floor of what was formerly "under the bed". Surprisingly light haul, considering I haven't even looked under there in three months. But I digress.

After article removal, I see a crunched up spiderish sort of thing that is not moving. Apparently my botched attempt at arachnid murder had been successful. Just to be safe, I retrieved the box and mashed it another dozen or so times. I believe it is fully dead now.

*shudders* Then I had to replace the mattresses and retrieve new bedding and throw the old bedding into the washer, so one quick spider-mashing incident turned into a 45 minute ordeal. I'm almost tempted to call this one a draw because of the hassle, but since the offending creature is now a CORPSE, I will declare myself victorious.

Evil Hellish Arachnid Army: 1
Dyson: 5

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Arachnophobia Death Match 2010

The evil spider army has its first win. A few nights ago, a large specimen was found lurking in the corner of my bathroom near the ceiling. I know from past experience that trying to take them out when they are ABOVE you is a very bad idea. Brooms do NOT work. The evil bastards have perfected the method of clinging to the bristles and riding the broom safely to the ground where all the hysterical whacking in the world will not hurt them, but only allow them to scuttle beneath a large piece of furniture where you will never find them.

Therefore, I only glared at the beast, who glared back. I went to bed, hoping it would end up in one of the porcelain traps (tub or sink) during the night. No such luck. The horrible thing was gone in the morning, lurking somewhere in my house, no doubt, waiting to leap out at me. I've taken the precaution of removing items from my bed that might dangle and give them a clawhold to climb up and crawl upon me in the night. *shudders*

Evil Hellish Arachnid Army: 1
Dyson: 4

Sunday, July 11, 2010

BOOK REVIEW: Drawn Together

Okay, when I read an actual BOOK I will review it here and hope the author doesn't track me down and flame me if I don't like it.

I recently purchased Drawn Together by Z.A. Maxfield, mostly because of the COVER, which is by P.L. Nunn, who has so much art it will take you days and days to see it all at her website. UNF, the cover of this is just beautiful. Wanna see?

CLICKY You can also read the blurb, which is the other reason I bought it. Side note: Goodreads is AWESOME and you can join the m/m group on there to find even more books. They have monthly polls and reviews. It's fab!

Anyway, I read this in about a day without getting bored, so it holds your attention. The beginning was LOVE. I adore the way Rory meets Yamane and their first kiss is utterly squee-worthy.

However, once it develops a plot the book seemed to start falling apart a bit. I didn't quite buy the antagonist, who is supposed to be evil incarnate. I'm not sure why, but her character just didn't hold up for me. Rory is the most solid character and I kept reading his parts with a Cajun accent, which was entertaining and probably helped lock him down for me. I liked him a lot. Yamane, on the other hand, was a bit erratic. Granted, she kept mentioning that fact that it was part of his personality - he could be tough as nails or completely girlish. He just never seemed quite cohesive to me and in some of the scenes it would throw me off.

I personally hate it when one character sleeps with a character other than the love interest, and it happened in this story. It was probably necessary for the plot and she did a good job with it, plus it was a major turning point regarding Rory's feelings, but ARGH, I just hate when it happens.

The author did a very good job with the minor characters. I adored Rory's relatives and the people he interacted with in the town. Some of the OCs they encountered were well done, which is always a plus. None of the characters felt flat (other than the antagonist) and it was fun to read about them. Also, the boys SWITCH, which is a MAJOR plus in my book. If that's not for you, it might be a minus, although it's handled very well. The sex is SMOKING and frequent. A definite bonus for porn content.

Despite some of the issues I had with the flow of the book and some of the characterization, I really liked it and felt it was worth the time spent reading. I give it:

4 out of 5 stars


Arachnophobia Death Match 2010

The war has begun in earnest. Another scout was found, but he was clever, lurking in the corner of the bathroom ceiling where I could not reach him without benefit of a broom, and I resisted because I have learned my lesson regarding brooms. (They hide in the bristles and then leap out and scurry at you, or run away and hide under a big piece of furniture.) I bided my time. A few days later I caught one near the front door, trying to steal into my shoe, which I subsequently used to squash him. *nods*

A fourth was found in the bathroom sink this morning, so he went to his watery grave with the first one.

Evil Hellish Arachnid Army: 0
Dyson: 4

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Arachnaphobia Deathmatch 2010

I love living in the Seattle area. Rain is awesome and makes me want to write. I also dislike dealing with that horrible white stuff that falls from the sky and makes people drive like bigger morons than usual. Snow is a rarity here which gets two thumbs up from me. It's also not that cold in the winter and not blisteringly hot in the summer. And the massive amount of hoodie-clad hotties makes me happy to put up with just about anything.

It does, however, have one little nasty bit of horror. The spiders. Starting in late July, hoards of heinous brown eight-legged creatures from the depths of hell invade our houses, generally making straight for the bathroom where they can glare up at you from the sink or the bathtub first thing in the morning as you stagger in there before coffee.

This year the bastards have sent out their reconnaissance patrols early. I destroyed one scout by flushing it down the sink - in hindsight, this may have been a mistake, since there is no guarantee of its actual demise. It may have survived and reported back to its evil headquarters, prompting them to send out scout #2. That one I smashed against the bathroom wall with a partially empty bottle of ammonia.

The battle has commenced. I am keeping a tally.

Evil Hellish Arachnid Army: 0
Dyson: 2

(I'm totally counting the flushed one. *nods*)

Monday, June 14, 2010

No delete post button? WTF? What if some of us fail?

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

I snatched this just to corner the market on all things Dysonrules.